Statistically Speaking

With a year like I’ve had
I should have drowned myself
Not literally, but at least in cheap beer
Or whiskey, with a chaser of tears
Should have cut off my locs
Gained or lost ’bout 25 pounds
I should have closed up shop
And let the twinkle in my eye disappear
Slipped the pep out of my step
But still I’m here, or so I’m told
And somehow I should have a couple degrees
And a PhD, or not
All while living single and widowed
That’s right, I should be slightly educated
Yet silent as a white mouse
I should have conceived
And as head of house
Held the joys on my own
Broken barriers behind closed doors
Do not expect a thank you
And don’t dare ask for compensation
I should have developed hypertension
And all sorts of bad habits
To sustain my beautiful mind
But that’s just statistically speaking

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